Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say đ
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now sheâs a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. âHigh maintenance hotâ doesnât even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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