We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Randomize