you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
