I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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