i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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