I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
