If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
