let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
