This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
