I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
My penis needs a shock collar
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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