pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
