you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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