If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize