Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
