Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
