I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You made out with two different species that night
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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