in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
where are my eyebrows?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
