he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
