I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
