I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
