We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
