Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
