Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
