God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
