I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
