wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
accomplished twins. life is a go
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
