so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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