Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
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