I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
17 year olds will be the death of me.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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