I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I checked into jail on foursquare
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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