spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
