; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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