her vagine was all disorganized.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
