We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
