I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
There's even glitter on my cock...
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