Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize