no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
