he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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