I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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