Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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