your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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