Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
