you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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