we're blogging at a bar
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
