I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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