the new term for farting is butt boxing.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
