Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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