it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
