Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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