My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
