last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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