Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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