shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
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