Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
This is the high leading the old right now
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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