I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize