your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
