I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
