Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize